We should not become another Gaudiya Math
We arrived in Vrndavana was it a 15,000 mile nonstop journey? and Tamal Krishna Goswami told us the position. Srila Prabhupada was not eating, not sleeping, and had written out his will. We should pray and chant and sometimes go in turns to his room to chant and read. My own thoughts are so fallen I am ashamed to even note them here.
He told us that Srila Prabhupada said that our motives were pure.
He told Bhavananda Maharaja that he had called us all together because his disease was fatal he couldn't eat, so his body was finished. Then there are also rays of hope a special doctor is being called, and today Srila Prabhupada was talking of preaching. He said Vrndavana is a perfect place to live and a perfect place to die. He said that if Krishna desires, he will get his health and be able to go and preach.
That was the point TKG stressed also, that if Krishna desired, Srila Prabhupada could recover. Otherwise, his sickness, which prevents him from eating, will cause his departure. TKG had said to Srila Prabhupada, Wouldn't it be an easy thing for Lord Balarama, who maintains the whole universe, to give Srila Prabhupada a little strength to recover? Srila Prabhupada agreed it would not diminish Balarama to do so.
There is no talk of him being disgusted with us. He did tell Bhavananda Maharaja that we should not become another Gaudiya Math and split up and fight.
Previously he had been eager to recover went to Hrishikesh, tried to be cured by taking nim with meals in Bombay. Now he has come to Vrndavana, he has said, to die. Of the two courses, one to prepare to survive and one to prepare to depart, he has been stressing the worst and therefore has called us all to him.
Bhavananda Maharaja told us that he told Srila Prabhupada how they felt mixed sadness that he was departing, but also joy that Srila Prabhupada should be able to leave this nasty material world and rejoin Krishna. They said Srila Prabhupada indicated agreement.
Reference: ISKCON in the 1970s
Author: Satsvarupa Das Goswami