Prabhupada Chastising Disciple
Mahavir Dasa: Prabhupada knew I was young and passionate and when I got to Mayapur the first thing he said to me was, "Do you want to take sannyasa or do you want to get married?" So I knew he knew, and at that moment I had already resigned from the idea of taking sannyasa . After Prabhupada had first asked me to help the Mayapur management, I set up my little office in a corner and without any instruction from anybody, I immediately changed the cleanup time and generally created havoc. When Prabhupada returned from his morning walk and went into the temple room for guru puja, the temple floor was wet because of my bad timing. Meanwhile I was somewhere else, changing something else. Prabhupada started going upstairs to his room while I was coming downstairs with a big smile, expecting glorification. Prabhupada pointed his cane at me and said, "Who do you think you are? You're the king?" It was just few days before the Mayapur festival and all my older godbrothers who I looked up to, were standing there looking at me. Out of embarrassment, I had an out-of-body experience. I went up to a cloud and watched the conversation. I was young, had been doing something I shouldn't have been doing, got chastised, and took it hard. To make it worse, before this I'd been on the morning walks everyday, agitating people, butting in front of the sannyasis, and Sudama Maharaj had told me that when I stopped going Prabhupada had said, "Where's Mr. Brazil?" and had started chastising me, "Oh, he thinks he's the king." Sudama Maharaj said, "You are getting the mercy." But I thought, "Mercy? I'm just waiting for Krishna to take mv life away." Anyway, after the cleanup fiasco I went back to my room and came practically physically ill. I didn't want to go out in public. The next day I was lying in bed feeling like it was over for me. I was at rock bottom. I'd been preaching, opening centers, and I wanted my guru to be happy with me but instead he yelled at me worse than my dad ever had. I heard the greeting of the Deities and then Hari Sauri Prabhu came in and said, "Prabhupada wants you at gurupuja." I thought, "Oh, no" it just got worse. But I did what I was told. I took a quick shower, got my dhoti on, and went to the back of the temple room, which was full, just in time for guru puja. I hid behind Gurudas, who was a good size then, and saw Guru Kripa Prabhu grab the mridanga to begin leading when Prabhupada stopped him. At Prabhupada's indication the devotees moved aside to make a direct channel between Srila Prabhupada and me. Prabhupada pointed at me and said to Guru Kripa, "Let him lead. He likes to chant." At that moment I melted. Prabhupada had given me the most severe chastising of my life, which till today helps me, and I had also made contact with him as my father. It was an emotional morning program for me. It was the next day that I went to his room and asked if I could go back to Brazil, and that's when he let me go. But during these conversations he had also said to me, "You should be in India, its good for you here."
Reference: Memories Anecdotes of a Modern Day Saint - Volume 3 by Siddhanta Dasa
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