I'm going to stick to this Krishna consciousness

Satsvarupa Dasa: In one recall session with Baladeva, he asked me for strong impressions and exact details. But I could hardly remember anything exactly as it happened. However, I do know in a general way, the rasa or flavor of being with Swamiji. So with your permission, I may recreate an evening's activity in Swamiji's apartment just before he would go down to the storefront for kirtana on Monday, Wednesday, or Friday night. When I come into his room he recognizes me. I say "I'm feeling better now in Krishna consciousness and I'm getting through the days at the welfare office by thinking and working for Krishna." Prabhupada says something to encourage me, like, "I told you it would be like that and you will see it is true more and more. It is such a nice thing." Then he turns to Raphael and says, "When are you going to fix the lock on this door?" Raphael replies, I'm sorry, Swamiji, I didn't get around to it. Then Gargamuni comes in with a report, "Sw-Sw-Swamiji, today I put one of your pa-pa-pamphlets in a h-h-headshop, and the guy said, Is this the same Hinduism that has the caste system? We don't want this here. So I said to him, Everywhere in the world, there is this system of four divisions." Prabhupada says, "Yes, he doesn't know the varnasrama system because he's less than a sudra." We all laugh at that and Gargamuni says, "Sw-Sw-Swamiji, h-he wouldn't want to hear that from me. Maybe you could go talk with him." Swamiji says to Gargamuni, "So how much did you collect for those pamphlets?" "Well, I only got t-t-two dollars." Then Swamiji turns to me, "Brahmananda says you have not signed all the invoices. But you're the secretary and you have to sign when any money is given out." "Well, Swamiji," I say, "I did sign them, but I was at work today and they didn't give me the latest ones." Swamiji says, "Anyway, see that everything is done properly. Whatever money we're getting is coming in by Krishna's grace and we have to account for it all." Gargamuni confirms, "Oh yes, Swamiji, we're very careful with all the money." Then someone asks, "What time is it? When do we have to go down to the storefront?" We are all aware that it's a kirtana night and soon we will go down to the storefront and meet the guests. But first, we go to the next room and put on tilaka with Swamiji. He is very attractive to us, his smile and his willingness to flow from one thing to another according to whatever comes up. In the next room, we sit down and wait for Swamiji to put on his tilaka, and we watch him. When he puts tilaka on one part of his body, then we do it in the same way. Swamiji looks over from his corner to see Jadurani painting and he says, "Oh, you're improving. This is very nice. Yes, Lord Caitanya used to dance like that. He was very beautiful with a golden form. He used to dance and everyone in Navadvipa would come to take part in that kirtana. So make it like that." She asks him, "Swamiji, should Lord Nityananda have an effulgence around His head?" "Oh yes, He also." "And what about Gadadhara?" "Yes." Should he have long hair?" "No, this one should be shaven-headed just like a Hindu brahmacari, but the others may be like that." Swamiji says that if we can get a good Indian mridanga it would add to the kirtanas. Someone says he saw a mridanga like that uptown in a store and will try to get it. Swamiji then mentions that the harmonium should not be played the way we play it, as a drone. No, Swamiji,? I thought it was a drone instrument. "No," Swamiji says, "It's not a drone instrument. It is played with melody. I will show you one day how to play, but for now, you can play it like that. The drone instrument is that tamboura." Madhusudana comes up and says, "Swamiji, there's about twenty people down in the storefront and I think most of us should go down now." "Yes," Swamiji says, "You all go down and I will join you." Swamiji has just taken his shower and so his skin, which is always soft and smooth, is especially fresh. He holds the wet tilaka clay and a mirror in his left hand and his wrist is turned in a delicate way. Keeping his back straight he glances down to the mirror bending his neck a bit forward. With his pinky extended gracefully, he starts to apply the tilaka with the ring finger of his right hand. then he offers several sticks of burning incense and rings a bell before the picture of the Panca-tattva. We don't know what he is praying or what bhajana he is singing, but we watch. He is barefoot in his apartment, but on leaving, he will put on his white rubber shoes with the pointy toes. We go down to the temple and mix with the guests or talk among ourselves, waiting. Although we have just been with Swamiji upstairs, now there is more anticipation that he will soon come in and start the program. We are proud and thrilled to see him suddenly appear through the door. Swamiji is a real sadhu from India, wrapped around with khadi saffron, with his tilaka so fresh going up his long forehead and the arrow point on his nose very nicely done. He stands at the door a moment and steps out of his slippers. There is a slight tilt to the floor. It is not uncommon to see cockroaches. It's a narrow room and everyone is crowded in. I watch from my own spot on the floor where I like to sit in the front half of the room (closer to Swamiji) and on the right-hand side of the room. I feel happy with my new well-being, thinking with pleasure: "I'm going to stick to this Krishna consciousness no matter what anyone says. I'm following Swamiji. Tonight I'm going to listen to what he says and I'm going to get into the kirtana." As you dedicate yourself, you look above Swamiji's head to the circular canvas of Radha and Krishna. They look almost like puppets or mannequins, but still, it's Krishna with His flute and Radharani, and so it's very nice. The form of Sri Krishna and Radharani, focused above Swamiji, is made of bright reds and blues and yellows and filled with jaunty angles, Krishna's flute, His elbows, and legs, and Radharani holding on to His shoulder.