I will love you, if you will love me.
Satsvarupa: The first initiation was on Janmastami in 1966 and it was so lackadaisical that people got initiated without seriously considering whether they were going to follow the four rules. I wanted to stay independent. I didn't think I was ready to get initiated, and besides nobody had asked me to get initiated. So I stayed home and typed for the Swami. The day after Janmastami I showed up at his door and he said, "Oh, you did not come for initiation yesterday." I said, "No, but I did some typing." I gave him the typing and he gave me some grapes. He saw that unless I got invited I was reluctant to get initiated, to go to the morning class, to go to the feasts. It was a defect on my part and at that time he said something important to me. He said, "I will love you, if you will love me." That statement made a big change in me. He exposed that I didn't love him but I was expecting him to always love me. I thought, "Why am I holding back my love for him, is there something I dislike about his face or his way of talking or something, I do not love him, but I'm expecting him to pour love on me." I looked at all the ugliness inside myself that made me not love the Swami, and I decided that I should kick it out and love him. He said, "If you do that, then I'll love you. But it's a two-way street." He read my heart and my mind and exposed my big barrier. When the Swami said, "I will love you, if you will love me," that became a good instruction for any relationship, certainly with a spiritual master and a disciple or with a husband and wife. You have to love the other person if you want to be loved. His words broke a lot of ice, and from then on I stepped forward more and didn't have to be invited to things.
Reference: Memories Anecdotes of a Modern Day Saint - Volume 4 by Siddhanta Dasa
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