Transformation
Sacinandana Swami: Srila Prabhupada received the rose each one of us offered him. He gave another rose back to us, and he lectured. While he lectured, like so many of my god-brothers, I felt that Srila Prabhupada was speaking just for me and was looking at me. I felt personally addressed by Srila Prabhupada. It reminded me of how, when Krishna ate lunch surrounded by His cowherd boyfriends, He communicated to each one of the thousands of them. Prabhupada's eyes were wandering over his audience, and sometimes he closed his eyes in deep concentration, but somehow he connected to every one of us. Then, because I felt so personally addressed by Srila Prabhupada, I put a challenging question to him. Foolish as I was, I wanted to test Prabhupada to see if he was really the perfect spiritual master I could surrender to for my whole life. Such surrender would have serious consequences as far as money and my position in life were concerned. Since my mind was not spiritually developed, to see how Prabhupada would react I asked a question which I felt he could not answer. I said, If God is all good, why did He create this maya which inflicts suffering upon the living entities? Prabhupada looked at me and requested Shyamasundar to repeat the question. Shyamasundar had not heard my question, maybe due to my accent, and I repeated it. Prabhupada again asked for the question to be repeated. I became insecure but I again asked, You say God is all good. It can't be because He has created maya, which is certainly not all good. So either He is not all good, or maya is no longer under His control and makes us suffer against the good intentions of God. Prabhupada looked at me intently and then said, "Krishna has not created maya, you have created maya." I was startled. Philosophically I couldn't understand what he was saying? I created the whole material world? I could not even create a house because at that moment I was insolvent. Later I understood his explanation, but at the time all I understood was that Krishna was not at fault for my situation. I was at fault. I thought, What a brilliant answer. I have understood the point. I better surrender to Krishna and Srila Prabhupada, who seemed to be very close with the Lord. It was my first memorable encounter with Srila Prabhupada and he had demolished like a sadhu always does, my concept that I could challenge him. And besides answering my foolish question, he effected a transformation in my heart.
Reference: Memories Anecdotes of a Modern Day Saint - Volume 3 by Siddhanta Dasa
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