I think Krsna wants me to live

Satsvarupa Dasa Goswami: Taj Express to Mathura. How wealthy we are with our hundreds of rupees, riding first-class, American bodies. When will I realize I am not this body? As of now, we do not know the condition of Srila Prabhupada's health. I fall far short of the proper responses of a disciple. He is the most rare personality in this world. Most human lives do not seem worth much. What do they accomplish in the end?

Prabhupada sa mahatma su-durlabhah. Even saints sometimes fall short. He doesn't. Arrive in Vrndavana Srila Prabhupada sitting on vyasasana in the courtyard, gurukula boys dancing before him. He asked for us afterwards. We went to his room, dark and cool. He sat on his bed. Madhudvisa and Sruta-kirti were there. Of course, Madhudvisa had left our movement for some time. Now he was shaved up. Don't leave us, Srila Prabhupada said to him feelingly. He said, "You can stay as a grhastha, but don't leave us." He also said my name and Balavanta's.

Then we were called in during his massage and he preached. He said feelingly that he liked your magazine (BTG) and liked the column Srila Prabhupada Speaks Out.' Now you have? I said, "Yes," Srila Prabhupada's Disciple Speaks Out. Yes, he laughed. I have given it that name. He told how Hansadutta challenged this Dr. Kovoor in a public hall to produce a mosquito. It is a new kind of civilization, he said.

Not a single person is any good in the present civilization (he made a sour face). Not a single person. How can they be dhira, sober, to understand? Dehino 'smin. In India we see a dead body burnt, but the self goes on. They can't understand it because they're not gentle. They think gentleman means hat and coat, but if they maintain slaughterhouses, how are they civilized? "I am stressing the farm projects," he said. Show ideal life. Brahminical class. He told us the astrologers said he would live eighty-one years, five months until February 1977. Tamal Krishna Goswami said that his illness is psychological and subtle.

A few days ago he was very bad. Gurukrpa Swami brought a sapphire ring and twelve men with him, and Srila Prabhupada has improved. He was talking of going to the West. TKG said the love of his disciples there would make him well. Srila Prabhupada said, "Yes, I think you are right."

From TKG: SP: What is the use of slow death?

TKG: The astrologer said you may live.

SP: Yes, it is possible, but it depends on Krishna's desire.

TKG: Is Krishna's desire indicated?

SP: Yes, I think Krishna wants me to live. When letters were brought he said, Good news?

TKG: Book distribution.

SP: That is real good news.

TKG read the BBT newsletter and he listened with full attention to all of it. Very pleased, absorbed, sometimes shaking his head, smiling. Heard entire long letter from Ghanasyama. Srila Prabhupada is very thin. We watched through the doorway as he ate his lunch. He takes a little of his vegetable on his capati and eats here and there. He eats about three fourths of a capati and a little vegetables. Today is the beginning of Jhulana-yatra. Thousands of pilgrims are coming to the Vrndavana temples.