Difficulties & Serving Nicely

Satsvarupa Dasa: If any of us live until our eighties, we will have a better idea of what Prabhupada was going through. He used to mention in his lectures some of the pains of old age, but they didn’t stop him. Prabhupada endured the austerities personally.

When Prabhupada received a letter from Jai Govinda dasa, who described how he had undergone a difficult trip from India to Germany, Prabhupada sympathized and also approved of tolerance.

... But do not mind this trouble, because you underwent it for Krsna’s sake. I was on the sea for one month and ten days continually, and that was a horrible account. Perhaps you have read it in my diary which you collected in Vrndavana. So let us forget our past difficulties and in Krsna consciousness, if anyone faces difficulties, it is considered as blessings, because without tapasya, or voluntarily accepting some inconveniences nobody can realize the Transcendence.
 — Letter, May 8, 1968

It is one thing to endure the troubles and understand they are for your purification. But when you are personally with Prabhupada, it becomes a great annoyance and frustration that you cannot serve him nicely. Nothing can be more embarrassing than to have to lie on the floor when Prabhupada comes out of his room, and not join him for his lecture in the temple room. You think, “Here I am, a clot in his vision.” We’re supposed to be the dog of the spiritual master, but the dog whom Bhaktivinoda Thakura speaks of is a healthy dog who stops demons from bothering the pure devotee, and accepts scraps from his master. A healthy dog is useful, but nobody likes a sick dog.

I have portrayed myself as helpless in the grips of prakrti, but sometimes it was laziness and indulgence which prevented me from serving nicely in times of difficulty.