Depend on Krishna To Think of Krishna

Mahatma Dasa : In the early days, temple presidents were supposed to write Prabhupada a letter every month to tell him what was going on in their center. I took advantage of these opportunities to ask Prabhupada questions.

Once I was enjoying preaching on traveling sankirtan, and when I came back to the temple I experienced anxiety. I didn't like to manage and I began thinking, "On the road I can remember Krishna, but when I'm at the temple, I forget Him because I have so many things to do." So when I gave my monthly report to Srila Prabhupada, I explained how it was much easier for me to think of Krishna when I travelled and how I thought of so many things other than Krishna in the temple.

I asked Prabhupada if it was better to do less service and think of Krishna more or do more service and think of Krishna less. Although that's not the philosophy, those were my two options. In the first sentence of his reply, Prabhupada wrote, "The whole point of everything is to become absorbed in thoughts of Krishna." When I read that I felt guilty and embarrassed. I felt it was impossible to become absorbed in thoughts of Krishna, because I never thought of Krishna. I was at a loss. Prabhupada continued, "The way you do this is that you think that you've no qualification for your service. You should think that 'I have no qualification to be the temple president,' and you should pray to Krishna to give you the qualification. You should pray, 'Krishna, please give me the qualification, because if you don't, then all the devotees in the temple will leave.' In that way, always remain dependent on Krishna, and you'll always be able to think of Krishna."

Prabhupada didn't say, 'do less service and think of Krishna more.' That was never Prabhupada's mood. His mood was that you should be dependent and by being dependent, you'll think of Krishna. I thought that was very instructive.