Who is massaging my feet?

Udayananda : I became Prabhupada’s bodyguard where I had to stay outside his room. Every time Prabhupada went out, I would offer my obeisances about six inches from his lotus feet. But now I can’t take the dust because he said that it wasn’t necessary. Three years later, I was in Vrindavan in 1977 sitting in Srila Prabhupada’s room at his feet during his antya-lila. It was an incredible time in our ISKCON history because Prabhupada was preparing to depart from the material world and go back to Krishna. In the room Upendra was on one side of Prabhupada, Tamal was on another side, each one massaging one of Prabhupada’s arms. Someone else was massaging Prabhupada’s head and Trivikrama Swami was massaging Prabhupada’s feet. I was sitting next to Trivikrama watching him massage Prabhupada’s feet, and putting Prabhupada’s feet on his head. I thought, “Oh, he’s so fortunate.” In my mind I was rationalizing with myself.

I was thinking, “You’re here in Vrindavan in the room with Srila Prabhupada, the pure devotee of Krishna. Even one eleventh of a second of association of a pure devotee is more important and more powerful than one thousand Vedic sacrifices. So just be satisfied.”

But I wasn’t satisfied with my rationalization. Those lotus feet were staring me in the face. So I sat there chanting japa and thinking, “How am I going to get Trivikrama to let me massage Prabhupada’s feet?” I’d been on sankirtan for four years so I had to get my pitch ready. I was waiting for the opportunity. After about an hour a miracle happened. Maharaj yawned and then I knew what I was going to say. I crept over and said, “Excuse me Maharaj. You look like you’re really tired. I know you’ve been here for a long time, and I was just wondering if it would be okay if maybe I could massage Prabhupada’s feet?” He turned and looked at me with a heavy-duty sannyas look and said, “Okay.” I became frozen in ecstasy. Then he showed me how to massage Prabhupada’s feet and calves with a very delicate touch because he didn’t have any muscle tissue. His feet, however, were definitely lotus like. It was amazing that I finally got to massage Prabhupada’s feet. After about an hour of massaging his feet, Prabhupada asked Tamal Krishna Maharaj, “Who is massaging my feet?” Tamal Krishna said, “Oh, it’s Udayananda from Detroit.” Prabhupada said with a big smile, “Oh.” I felt a wave of ecstasy because Prabhupada fulfilled my heartfelt desire. Prabhupada reciprocated so nicely with the devotees. There’s a saying, “You take one step to Krishna and He will take one hundred steps toward you." Prabhupada was taking one thousand steps toward his devotees. He was pouring his mercy on everyone. It was incredible. Not only did he let me massage his feet, but he let me put his feet on my head. That’s Srila Prabhupada’s mercy.